We all agree that life after marriage changes and it really changes drastically both for women and men. Currently I am not talking about a positive or a negative change after marriage because that completely depends upon one’s own life situations and a person himself or herself in that situation can own and say that the change was a positive or a negative one
Today in this topic I am going to discuss about what changes does a marriage brings in women’s life (whether working or non working), why marriage is called a rebirth for women or may be a second Inning of life and how to cope up with this change like pursuing a career/ hobby/ passion/ or studies after marriage?
Okay, to begin with, how many women have to leave a job to start fresh to get along with marriage/ your partner and your in- laws family? Same goes with their studies or passion and hobbies as well. I believe most of us left or kept these things at toss. Sometimes it is our own choice to may be leave the job for a while and focus on bonding with new family and then sometimes, situations are such that you have to leave your job. Now Many women also leave their jobs forever and decides to take care of their families and be a home maker. This is also their own fair choice. So there are so many different different choices that we see around ourselves
1. Women leave their jobs for a while to focus on bonding with their new family and then resume their jobs yet again
2. Women leave their jobs forever to focus only on family and become homemakers
3. Sometimes women leave their jobs to join husband’s or in law’s family business
4. Sometimes women continue with their jobs even after marriage but then leave in between due to situations or circumstances at that point in time
5. Sometimes women leave their jobs for a long time and then resume work again depending upon circumstantial situations
So all the choices made above are all respectable and fair choices because every choice was made keeping something or the other in the mind and hence no choice made above is either easy or difficult but I would say it is just a journey.
I can take you to my personal experience with which I believe everyone of you will relate. I was working in a leading MNC before my marriage and I wished to continue my work even post marriage. However, my husband’s job was in Kolkata at that point in time and unfortunately the MNC for which I was working for do not have a branch in Kolkata. Hence, I had to quit my current job. So, after marriage, I need to search jobs in Kolkata. At that point in time, I was staying with my in-laws in Kolkata trying to understand new norms of new family and trying to accommodate myself. I was feeling really weird during the initial days of my marriage. I always worked and I was working from last 12 years with no break and suddenly it was so difficult to stay back home. My husband use to get ready for going to office and I used to watch him and think when would I get a job and when would I get an opportunity to work all over again. Believe me, I did not had job for almost 4.5 months in spite of searching jobs so rigorously. So, yes I did felt bad initially because for me, everything around was new like new house, new people, Husband with an arrange marriage, new location and no friends. But then I continuously tried searching for jobs and also spent good amount of time absorbing culture of my new family and tried to bond with my in-laws. Hence both the things were running in a parallel fashion. Later after 4.5 months, I finally got a job and until today, I am working
Opposite to this scenario, I have many friends across my circle who quit their jobs after marriage and they are very happy being homemakers and I really respect them from the bottom of my heart. My mother is a homemaker too and I respect my mom a lot. Being a homemaker is never an easy job and neither it is an easy decision especially when a women is educated or was previously working. But we all need to respect choices and perspectives of others. Being a homemaker is a full time payless job. But remember that because many of our mothers/ mother in laws or our wives are home makers, many of us are able to perform our jobs well. So, never underestimate the power of a homemaker.
But my major point is how to cope up whether you are working or you are a Homemaker while alongside balancing your marriage?
1. If you are a working women then you need to think of too many ideas to make your life easy so that you can balance both professional/ personal and family life. Like for example- You can make preparations for your vegetables (may be chop them in the night itself), you make make the dough ready for next day’s chapati, you can ensure that you are crystal clear in advance as to what is the breakfast that you will be preparing for you and your family, You can ensure that you purchase vegetables and fruits for the whole week so that you don’t spend time from your weekdays purchasing them, you can keep your clothes ironed for entire week keeping in mind which clothes are you going to wear each day of the week, you may keep your husband’s clothes ready a day prior which he would be wearing next day. You can even try to chop green chillies or peel garlics and keep them chopped which become easy to be used when you prepare vegetables. Sometimes women even half cook few of their vegetables and then cook them completely the next day. So these are little little things that I try to do to save my time for myself and for my family.
2. If you are a homemaker too, I would say that you can also try to do all the above things because a homemaker does not mean that they don’t need time for themselves or for their personal lives. Do you know when you leave your home for the office, how does your home look? You guessed it right. It’s completely messed up. And do you think that is it the responsibility of a homemaker to clean somebody’s else’s mess just because a homemaker stays back home? No because owning responsibility of the home is entire family’s responsibility and not just a homemaker’s. So, I would suggest that we as family should always support each other like keeping your things at their respective places, Picking up your own dishes and keeping them in kitchen, folding one’s own bedsheets and making their respective beds, Taking care of the clothes that we are going to wear the next day. Believe me, these little things are also a great help to the homemakers. They can utilize this time to fulfil their own dreams and to pursue their hobbies/ passions or further studies. Always, always remember to appreciate them. Is this a huge ask for homemakers?
As far as pursuing your hobbies/ passions and further studies are concerned, you may need to keep some time aside for all the activities that you love doing. Without fail, keep aside atleast an hour to do what you would like to do and may be pursue it for your living.
Please let me know in comments below whether you liked this article and Let me know if you want me to write on other topics